Kid Free For A Week
Let me start by saying I’m a survivor of LAUSD’s three-week Christmas vacation.
Yes, you read that correctly. In Los Angeles, California they give three weeks off for just one holiday.
In preparation for what was sure to cause me to completely fucking lose my mind, I let Nylahs dad know I REFUSED to be the only one caring for her over the break. In response, he took a week off from work- but only the last week.
Those first two weeks are somewhat of a blur.
To be fair, there were a numerous amount of reasons that I felt overwhelmed.
Financially, things have been more intense than usual since I decided to quit my full-time job to give hustling & the internet a real try. While I’m relieved that I no longer deal with the anxieties that range from having to kiss customers asses, to doing much more than just kissing a co-worker I had no business with...that job was the best money I had ever made in my adult life. I HATED it though.
So, although I don’t regret leaving, life has just been different (feel free to buy your favorite mama a coffee)- so I've been spending time trying my best to adjust. Add a kid all up in ya’ face all day erry’ day & then boom. Life is hell, lol.
For those of you who may not know Nylah started Kindergarten this year. She's always been in daycare facilities but being at an actual school has put her into a much-needed routine and it's been incredibly beneficial for her- for me and this break doe?
It was a headache trying to attempt to keep her half as entertained as a teacher, an aide, and 30 other students can.
You didn’t read that wrong either. I’d say 30 kids in an LAUSD classroom is low, usually closer to 40. I’m straying from the main point though. Mostly since that’s easy to do as I sit here in this Starbucks listening to my phone die as she drains it with the most annoying YouTube videos in the world. Let's get back on track.
The first two weeks were hard..but the last week when she was gone?
I thought it was going to be awful. That I was going to be sick to my stomach knowing her father would have her for nearly nine days straight without me to keep him or her in line.
I called every single day, ‘cause that’s just how I am, but there were days I almost forgot to. Why? Eh, because I felt amazing. I felt free.
My car broke down and I was basically in the deepest depression ever but somehow, someway, I still managed to be more productive than I have ever been with her.
I operated and moved with myself as the only priority day after day and it felt fucking incredible. I don’t feel bad about it either. I can’t wait to tell her daddy we can split the whole summer, because babbyyyyyyyyy.
I LOVE my baby, but I was LIVING just being able to just.be.me.
I mean seriously, I don’t know how ya’ll do it homeschooling your children. I pride myself as a mom when it comes to showing affection, affirming the wonderful things about my child, and trying to communicate as respectfully as possible no matter what. There is just nothing like being able to be all about, me. Alone. Wow. I miss it. Should I?
Sorry to cut things short but Nylah has to poop now. She told all of Starbucks so, we kind of gotta go handle that now.
Until next time,
xoxo
Jessica Rose